Sexual Orientation

• Sexual orientation: sexual orientation denotes the gender of people which you’re mainly attracted to (like heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, etc.) Sexual orientation is an identity and a way of interacting with the world, it's not a sexual practice. Therefore you can still be gay for example even if you haven’t had sex or been in a relationship yet.
• LGBTQIAA+: stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (or sometimes questioning), Intersex, Asexual, Ally (this might not be an identity but more on that later) and the + is commonly added to signify everyone else.
• MOGAI: An acronym that stands for “marginalized orientations, gender alignments, and intersex.” This term is used by some in a similar way to the umbrella acronym LGBTQIA.
• Heterosexual / Straight: being heterosexual is a sexual orientation that means you are mainly attracted to the opposite gender. Straight is a synonym for being heterosexual
• Homosexual / Gay / Lesbian: being homosexual means you are mainly attracted to the same gender. The word gay is usually used to describe men who are attracted to men while lesbian is used to describe women who are attracted to women. Although some women prefer the word gay to lesbian and that's totally ok! Remember that it's better to let people choose what words they feel comfrotable in describing their identities.
• Bisexual: someone who is attracted to more than one gender, this includes non-binary genders.
• Pansexual / Omnisexual: means you're sexually attracted to all people regardless of sex or gender. There's a lot of confusion around using bi vs pan vs omni and I don't have an answer here, except that you should use the word that resonates the most with you. Remember that all of these words are just descriptors for your experience.
• Queer: by definition means abnormal. This word has a lot to unpack: Historically the word queer was used a slur and therefore holds trauma for the community. However, many people feel that reclaiming it as an identity is a powerful act of rebellion. This word resonates with me.
• Demisexual: means you're sexually attracted only to people with whom you have a strong emotional bond. Demisexuality is on the spectrum of asexuality because you tend to experience sexual attraction less frequently.
• Grey asexual (Grey-A): simply means you find yourself on the spectrum between sexuality and asexuality. Demisexual can be classified as a form of grey asexuality
• Asexual: is when you do not feel sexual attraction to anyone. This is different from having genophobia (which means you're scared of sex). If you're asexual you aren’t afraid of sex but rather just don’t feel sexual attraction. Read Ace by Angela Chen if you're interested in learning more.
• Casual Sex: means that you enjoy engaging in sexual relationships without serious emotional attachment.
• Single By Choice: if you decide that relationships aren’t for you that’s ok! There are lots of people who dislike the idea of compulsory coupling and deciding to have primary relationships with themselves.You can decide to do some dating while remaining mostly uncommitted or to be celibate.
• Celibacy: means you choose not to engage in sexual acts
• Closeted & Coming Out: being "in the closet" means that you don’t or are unable to share your LGBTQIA+ identity. Coming out is the process of accepting and letting others know you are a member of the community. Coming-out is a private and personal decision! You should never "out" someone without their consent.
• Compulsory Heterosexuality: the false idea that everyone must be in heterosexual relationships. This term was originally coined by Adrienne Rich. You might be questioned and punished for failing to be in straight, committed relationships. Compulsory heterosexuality reinforces homophobia and transphobia.

Gender

• Gender Identity vs. Gender Expression: Gender identity is the way you consider yourself, this doesn’t correspond to your sexual anatomy but rather to your sense of self. A gender identity can include (but is not limited to) being cisgender, transgender, gender non-binary, gender fluid, agender, etc. Gender expression on the other hand refers to the way you present yourself to society. This is often your style and dress. This includes presenting yourself as feminine, masculine, androgynous, etc. Gender identity may influence your gender expression but it doesn’t necessarily have to align.
• Biological Sex vs. Assigned gender at birth (AMAB / AFAB): Biological sex refers to your sexual anatomy: being a penis-owner, a vulva-owner, or intersex. The gender you are assigned at birth normally coincides with a baby’s genitals. You should, however, always respect a person’s chosen gender identity rather than the gender that was assigned at birth.
• Womxn vs. Women: the stylization of Womxn or womyn is a move away from “men” and the traditional patriarchal system. This alternate spelling is also used in the feminist movement to empower intersectional identities that have been marginalized in the past. However, I recognize this stylization has also been used to misgender GNC folks, and I don't support this.
• Vulva-Owners / Penis-Owners vs. Female / Male: what’s in your pants does not indicate your gender. Therefore when discussing anatomy I use the terms vulva-owner instead of female to respect people's different gender identities. It’s important to remember that some women have penises, some womxn have vulvas, some women have both. Just like some vulva-owners are men. What’s in your pants doesn’t determine the legitimacy of your womanhood and I respect that.
• Femme / Butch / Masc / Androgynous: these are all gender expressions that describe how you present. Femme means that you present in a typically feminine way, while masc means you present in a masculine way. The term butch is used by some, and found derogatory by others so I refrain from using it unless that’s how someone specifically asks to be described. Androgynous means you fit neither binary presentations. Gender expressions are not set in stone, and many people have fluid gender expressions!
• MOC: Means Masculine of Center and is usually used in the lesbian community to describe a gender expression that is slightly more masculine.
• Cisgender: when you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth. Vulva-owners who identify as women and penis-owners who identify as men are cisgender
• Gender Non-Conforming (GNC) / Non-Binary / Enby: when you don’t identify as either just male or female. Gender non-binary can mean you reject the binary entirely, you identify as both, or you identify as some of each. Enby is a way to shorten non-binary without using the acronym NB which refers to “Non-Black”
• Transgender / Trans: when you determine that your gender does not match your sex assigned at birth. This is an umbrella term that also applies if you identify outside of the binary and have no or multiple genders
• Agender: can either be a non-binary gender or actually an identity of not having a gender at all.
• Pronouns: simply put are the words you use to refer to someone in the third person. It’s important to respect people’s choice of pronouns. Examples are she/her, he/him, they/them. When you meet someone for the first time you should ask for their pronouns as well as offer yours. Like "hey, my name is Sam, I use she/her pronouns, what about you?"

Social Constructs

• Feminism: at its core feminism is advocacy for women’s rights in the fight for gender equality. It also encompasses a range of ideology, politics, activism, and social movements around gender equality. If you're a feminist you’re joining a movement to help remove the patriarchal system under which many identities are suppressed to benefit a few.
• Sex+ / Sex-Positive: the sex positive movement is simply about promoting everyone's individual abilitiy to decide how they approach their sexuality and sexual expression. Being sex positive means that you promote people’s choice to have (or not to have) safe consensual sex. It also means that you care about body autonomy, meaning that people have a right to decide what they do with their bodies
• Body Positivity: means that you accept your body and other’s. And you believe that everyone should have the right to look and feel beautiful regardless of what their bodies look like
• YT feminism vs. intersectional feminism: feminist movements have traditionally only focused on the needs of white women. This attitude still persists today and is contradictory to the fundamental beliefs of feminism that all genders deserve equality. Intersectional feminism, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, by contrast aims to address the specific ways in which people’s differrent identities (rrace, gender, sexual orientation, class, etc) shape the needs of the movement.
• Patriarchy: social structure in which men hold power over women. The patriarchy can hurt you if you are a womxn, a man, or GNC. It’s a system in which toxic masculinity is enforced at the detriment to men and in which womxn do not have the same opportunity for equality. Read Down Girl by Kate Mann for more information.
• Privilege: a set of benefits that are unearned and systemically given to certain groups at the expense of others. Being white, male, cisgender, heterosexual, middle-class, able-bodied, thin are all examples of privilege. It’s important to recognize, and address privilege instead of maintaining a sense of superiority over others. In my case, I am white, cisgender, able-bodied, thin, middle-class, naturalized immigrant. These are all ways that my identity unfairly benefits me. I need to constantly be checking my privileges and I'll talk about this more!
• Toxic masculinity: does not suppose that all men are violent but rather that they are socialized in a rigid society that allows them to hold positions of power that excuse toxic behavior patterns. Talking about toxic masculinity is crucial to addressing gender inequality. It’s helpful to think about toxic masculinity as a bad habit. When you pick up a bad habit, it’s usually the product of watching someone else do this bad behavior. Even if you have this bad habit it doesn’t make you a bad person (or all the people who have this bad habit) but it is still very important to correct the bad habit… especially if this bad habit is hurting other people.
• Men™ vs. Men: Men™ is a stylization I use to denote toxic masculinity. It emphasizes the system of oppression that favors cishet males without discriminating against individuals who happen to be men and are actively addressing their privilege.
• Heteronormativity: Heteronormativity is the toxic belief that heterosexuality is the “normal” or default sexual orientation. This is harmful to the LGBTQIA+ community. You can be heterosexual while rejecting heteronormativity! This also informs many of the ways we interact with our sexualities, some of the harmful myths and practices.
• Gender normative: stereotypical behaviors or attitudes that conform to the gender binary. Just because you identify within the gender binary doesn’t mean that you need to conform to gender norms however.
• Str8 vs. Straight: Str8 is a stylization I use to denote toxic heteronormative attitudes and behavior. It emphasizes the system of oppression that favors heterosexual people without discriminating against individuals who happen to be straight.
• CisHet vs. Cisgender/Heterosexual: Cishet is a stylization I use to denote toxic transphobic & heteronormative attitudes and behavior. It emphasizes the system of oppression that favors cisgender and heterosexual people without discriminating against individuals who happen to be cisgender and straight.
• White Supremacy: is the racist ideology that white is the superior race. It is a system of oppression that benefits whites at the expense of POC
• YT vs. White: YT is a stylization I use to denote toxic racist attitudes and behavior. It emphasizes the system of white supremacy without discriminating against individuals who happen to be white.
• Ableism: is the view that able-bodied people are superior to disabled people. This discrimination serves to isolate people with disabilities and make it harder to exist in able-bodied spaces or access appropriate help and resources.
• Fat Phobia / Sizeism: describes the fear and hatred of fat people. “Health” is put at odds with “obesity” to isolate fat people and by extension control the weight and bodies of all womxn
• Whore Phobia: describes the fear and hatred of sex workers. The “whore/slut” stigma is used as a tool to distance and isolate sex workers and by extension vilify and control all womxn
• TERF/SWERF: TERF stands for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. SWERF stands for Sex Worker Exclusionary Radical Feminist. These are terms that emerged from third-wave feminism to call out non-intersectional feminists that focus mainly on cishet yt women’s needs. TERFs and SWERFs put transgender people and sex workers at risk through hatred and fear. Don’t be a TERF or SWERF.