Boundaries, Agreements, Expectations, Support

Here are a few possible boundaries you can set in ethical non-monogamous relationships pulled straight from our best-selling Activity Sheets.

COMMITMENT:

  • I will treat you with kindness and respect

  • I will act with integrity and reduce harm to the best of my ability

SCHEDULING & COMMUNICATION:

  • I will make time for you, show up on time when we’ve made plans, and I will try to give you advanced notice to allow room for other relationships in your life

  • I will not ghost you; I will not disappear

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY:

  • I will trust you and refrain from making assumptions

  • I will be there for you when things are challenging and do my best to provide meaningful support, I will listen and be non-judgmental, and I will strive to hold space for you to grow

PHYSICAL INTIMACY:

  • I will only participate in safe and consensual intimacy, I will get tested every 6 months (or as new potential partners arise), and I will communicate honestly about any changes to our safer-sex practices that may be necessary

  • l will not cheat on you; I will let you know before I start seeing anyone else

CONFLICT:

  • I will take space and time from difficult conversations as needed to avoid emotional flooding and I will come back and reopen discussions as soon as possible

  • I will ground our relationship in care and love

I like to focus on what I can do to act with as much integrity in my relationships along with clearly stating my expectations from my pals. Setting positive boundaries for myself helps guide the way I behave and gives me room to address potential issues that arise. I usually ask my pals to provide me with a similar list of their own boundaries to better understand how they intend to treat me. These sort of relationship agreements allows us to be on the same page without trying to control or dictate each other’s behaviors. These boundaries recognize that we are autonomous individuals who are responsible for our own actions and how we choose to show up for one another in our relationships. 💜

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Tips For Managing Expectations In Ethical Non-Monogamy