The Best Head(space)

This blog was originally published on Lustery POV

Everyone has different definitions of what makes sex great. For some people it’s all about orgasms, for others great sex is being able to satisfy their partners, still, others enjoy emotional intimacy, and there are a million different reasons... I could go on and on. For me, great sex has very little to do with the specific acts, the headspace is what makes or breaks an intimate experience. What I value the most in partnered sex are curiosity and low inhibition. That combo is hot because it takes me on adventures with my pals; we’re open to discovering new ways of connecting with each other minus the shame. Curiosity doesn’t necessarily guarantee that sex will be great, I certainly don’t like everything I try, but nothing beats stumbling on something that unlocks a new desire. 

Unfortunately, just like most people raised in our sexually repressed culture, I wrestle with my fair share of anxiety regarding sex. Like a lot of folks, I still get stuck in my head, I get self-conscious, and I worry my pals will judge me or reject my desires. Other times, I find myself spacing out, running through my to-do list, or worrying about terrible nonsense the SCOTUS will do next. None of those conditions set me up to have incredible sex. Over the years, I’ve started to care less and less about norms and sexual scripts, but I still get embarrassed and distracted from time to time. But there is one thing that’s consistently helped me relax and enjoy intimacy - weed. 

I’ve been smoking weed since I was a teen, and I’ve been fucking while high for exactly as long. The moment I first felt the floaty body high induced by cannabis, I got incredibly horny. Weed puts me in the good headspace that makes sex fun, really really fun. Weed allows me to be in the curious and uninhibited headspace. Unlike alcohol, I still feel totally in control of my mind and body, I just feel less… wound up. As I inhale each smoky grassy breath, I start to feel my shy awkwardness melt away, the daily stresses evaporate into the background, and the pessimism that can cloud my head at times leaves as I start to feel giggly and free. I feel more aware of my body's sensations. I pay more attention to my pals. YES! Is the word that pops into my mind over and over again. Yes, I would like to be naked. Yes, I would like a massage. Yes, I would like it if you touched me. Yes, you can put your hands on me like that! Yes, you feel amazing. Yes, I feel amazing. 

Not everyone responds the same way to drugs. Some people smoke weed and get antsy, fidgety, and nervous. Not me. I love the way my mind seems to levitate slightly above my body. I can fully feel my partner, without the chatter in my head. Nothing can take me out of the moment, except for my cotton mouth. Water is a must! Cotton cunt is even worse. Lube is a double must!! All these little tips and tricks come from experience. Before any of that, you need to understand your tolerance, especially if you’re not a daily user. You can’t exactly have great sex if you’re too couch-locked to move. 

Finding your perfect dosage is a matter of trial and error since we're all different. When I was younger and less experienced, I regularly overconsumed. I would try to "keep up" with the guys around me until I felt anxious and paranoid. Being too high can shut down your libido, but you get better at avoiding those situations the more you practice mixing sex and substances. It's good to remember that we each have different limits based on a variety of factors, so there's no universal dosage that works for everyone. One nice trick is to keep a CBD pen or drops handy. CBD tends to decrease the intensity of psychoactive effects, so it's useful to have if you accidentally overconsume. 

Having great sex is a matter of knowing exactly how much you need to find your perfect headspace, and not consuming more. I usually start with an edible, I bake them myself so the dosage can get squirrelly but I tend to aim for 5mg, then follow up with a flower vape. The edibles have a long duration which is nice when you're having sex, but the vape allows me to bypass the 2-hour activation time. Once you've found your happy high, sex becomes all about play and experimentation. 

Hands down the best part about high sex are the increased sensory awareness. Everything FEELS better. I start to pay close attention to the way my partner's skin smells, salty but sweet. I notice the soft light that filters in through the pink curtains or radiates from the salt lamp on the bedside table. Small details that otherwise go unnoticed become focal to the experience. I'm far more aware of the sensations in my body, light touches on my back tickle pleasantly, spanks radiate sharp invigorating pain on my ass I savor the texture of my pubes as my pal runs her fingers through them. I'm more aware of her too. I pick up on the changes in her breaths, adjusting my touch accordingly. I feel less self-conscious to ask for what I want. I'm open to new suggestions. I'm fully embracing YES. I also like the way time seems to warp when I'm high, we stop periodically for water, but don't feel constrained by outside commitments. Sex becomes all about the experience of connecting. There's no objective or pressure. Pure bliss. 

And let me tell you, receiving head while high is on another level. Nothing beats the feeling when she's just had a long sip of cold water and presses her wet tongue into my cunt. I love the sensory overload, the temperature, wetness, softness, it all feels amazing. I get delicious shivers shooting up my spine. I could lay with her between my legs, lay between hers, forever. Because that's the great part about sex, when you're in the right head space you don't need bells and whistles. You don't need to focus on achieving orgasm as quickly as possible. You don't need to follow any established scripts. You don't need any special tricks. You can just enjoy the experience for what it is. You can appreciate how special it feels to connect with a partner vulnerably. Your ability to get consumed by the moment is enough to make great head the best head you've ever received every single time. 

Note: while the author supports full legalized access to all drugs, we advise you to understand the current legal status of any substance you wish to consume. Also, a reminder that consent must be practiced with extra rigor when utilizing any mind-altering substance. Please consume responsibly.

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