Polyamorous Advice You Won’t Get From Your Monogamous Friends by Shrimp Teeth
My long-awaited book is finally here! Polyamorous Advice You Won’t Get From Your Monogamous Friends comes out April 29, 2025. It covers everything you need to know about alternative relationships!
Using my personal experience with polyamory, alongside my work educating, speaking with, and supporting other non-monogamous folks, I diligently take on the role of a peer and confidant so you can finally have the answers to all your burning questions: What relationship structure is best for me? How do I tell my partner I want to open up? Is it normal to feel jealous? Should I be friends with my partner’s partner? Does more sex really equal more problems?
Featuring real-life examples, endless empathy, and a touch of brutal honesty, this book will give you—and your partner(s)—everything you need to start forming healthy, respectful and emotionally fulfilling relationships that last.
What’s Inside?
Chapter 1: Setting the Stage
What Is Polyamory?
Consensually Alternative Relationship Structures
Hierarchy vs. Non-Hierarchy (Participatory) Polyamory
How to Decide on the Best Structure
Chapter 2: Why Is Everyone Monogamous?
What Is Compulsory Monogamy?
Let’s Marie Kondo Toxic Compulsory Monogamy
Adopting a Poly-Friendly View of the World
Chapter 3: Having the “Opening Up” Talk
Self-Discovery: Realizing You’re Polyam
Delicate Conversations: Telling Your Partner You Want to Open Up
Don’t Freak Out!: What to Do When Your Partner Tells You They’re Polyamorous
Theory vs. Reality: Taking Off the Rose-Colored Lens
Transparency vs. Privacy
Coming Out as Polyam
Blast Off!: Starting ENM for Real When You’ve Been Talking About It for Months or Years
Surviving the Compulsory Monogamy Hangover
Chapter 4: Creating Solid BAES
Boundaries
Agreements
Expectations
Support
Office Hours: Routine Relationship Check-Ins
Chapter 5: Flirting, Dating & Metamours
Finding the Ones
Proximity Matters: Parallel, Garden Party, Kitchen Table & Triads
Being the Secondary
New Relationship Energy
Cohabitation & Co-Parenting
Chapter 6: Finally, the Sex Chapter
Being Responsible
Mismatched Sexualities
Getting Real About STIs
Expanding Sexuality (Dun Dun Duuun . . . “The Gay Agenda”)
Chapter 7: When Shit Hits the Fan
The Spectrum of Jealousy: Creative vs. Functional
Surviving Intense Jealousy: Emotional Regulation, Tangible Requests & Letting Shit Go
Broken Trust, Teamwork & Amends
Rank-Choice Voting to Get Unstuck
Changing Things Up
Conclusion: How to Make ENM Last